Hunting Trip with Emmett and Bella
by livelaughlisten2music
Summary: what the title says. ends up pretty funny, if i do say so.
1. Chapter 1

**I came up with this after a particularly sugary ice cream. I know this makes almost no sense, but these little things are so fun to write. It's written in the third-person and is a one-shot.**

**And HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!**

"Come here little deer, I want to eat you," Emmett said to a large deer, but, compared to Emmett, it was a small deer.

"Emmett, don't talk to your food," Bella said wearily. She was regretting agreeing to come on this hunting trip. Emmett was being very childish.

"Ok, Bella," Emmett replied. But then he did it again. "Come here little bear, I want to eat you."

"Emmett, I'll call Rosalie," Bella said.

Emmett's smiling face turned to one of shock. "I won't do it again, I promise." Bella nodded.

"Come here little mountain lion, I want to eat you," Emmett said five minutes later.

Bella pulled out her cell phone and dialed Rosalie's number. She answered on the third ring. "Hi, Bella. What's up?" she asked.

"Every time Emmett sees an animal that he wants to eat, he says 'Come here little' then the animal then 'I want to eat you.'"

Rose sighed. "How many times has he done it?"

"Three. After the first one, I told him not to do it again. The second time, I told him I would call you-" She cut off and pulled her mouth from the phone and yelled, "Emmett! I told you to stop! Sorry Rose," Bella said. "Emmett did it again. But anyways, after I told him I would call you, he promised he wouldn't do it again. Then, five minutes later, he did it again. And then again while I was talking to you," Bella added.

"Can you give him the phone please, Bella? I can guarantee he won't do it again."

"Emmett! Rose is on the phone!" Bella called. Emmett was at her side in a second. "Hi Rose," he said sheepishly.

"Four weeks, Emmett. And another week for each time you do it again. So I would suggest stopping this _second_," Rosalie said.

"Yes, Rose."

"Emmett, I'm never hunting with you again," Bella said wearily to Emmett on their way home two days later.

"Fine. I prefer Edward over you. Edward's never called Rose," Emmett replied as they walked in the door.

"Well, it was your own option to say it again ten times, so your punishment is a total of fourteen weeks."

"ANOTHER TEN TIMES? EMMETT MCARTY CULLEN, GET IN HERE NOW!" Rosalie screamed from upstairs, blasting the eardrums of everyone in the house. Renesmee and Jacob covered their ears.

"What did he do fourteen times?" Edward asked Bella.

"Say 'Come here little' type of animal 'I want to eat you.' It got very aggravating after the second time, let alone fourteen times. It was a very long two days," Bella said.

Edward shook his head. "Leave it to Emmett to do something like that. His punishment isn't worth doing it. We're all in for very rough three and a half months."

"I doubt we're coming in the main house during that time. The first week might be bearable, but other than that, none of us can come in the house," Bella said.

Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Renesmee, and Jacob all looked up at Bella and nodded. "I don't even want to see this house at the end of that time," Esme said. "I think I'll go start plans on fixing up that cabin in Southeastern Canada…"

"Good idea. I'm going to get all of my clothes to safety. Come help me Jazzy," Alice said. She and Jasper left to go to their room.

"We're going to the cottage. Jake, you coming before Rose attempts to bite you for something to do?" Bella asked.

"Ya. There's no way I'm staying in here with Blondie and her freaky moods," Jacob answered. Bella, Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob left for the cottage.

*~***(3 1/2 months later- Southeastern Canada)**

"Is it safe to go back?" Esme asked Alice.

"Wait for another hour, and then we can get ready to go back. But we can't leave before 6. If we get back to Forks before 7, we'll run into them on the couch in the living room." Edward and Alice both shuddered, seeing them on the couch.

*~* **(3 hours later- Forks)**

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HOUSE!" Esme screamed in shock. The entire house was in ruins. Parts of the roof were missing; the furniture was on the front lawn. Bella and Edward raced to their cottage. They sighed in relief; their house was standing without a scratch.

"EMMETT DALE MCARTY CULLEN AND ROSALIE LILLIAN HALE MCARTY CULLEN!" They heard Esme screech.

"They're in trouble," Bella said in a sing-song voice.

Edward nodded. "You're so lucky you can't hear their thoughts. This is painful. Even Jasper doesn't have it as bad as me."

**Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, Emmett and Rose are in trouble! Glad I'm not them ;)**

**Review please!**

**~Em**


	2. AN: NAME CHANGE

**Sorry, this isn't a chapter for my multi-chapter stories (I'm putting the exact same note on all of my stories), but I needed to point out that my pen name has changed. It was cullenvampire01, now livelaughlisten2music.**

**~Em**


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